Adoption Update

Well, we are STILL trying to get the homestudy "clean" and ready for the Russians. We thought all was done, but alas, in the adoption world, you are never through with paperwork until three years after your court order.

Last week we were told we had to complete the "Hague Training". With our last adoption, we completed at least 18 hours of training and in the back of my mind, I think it was more like 21 hours. The Hague Treaty and certification requires all adoptive parents to obtain a certificate of training - for a fee. The training is from a third party that will provide the all important certificate - for a fee.

Part of being an pre-adoptive parent is closing your eyes and writing out checks for these fees. Some are small and are only a couple of hundred dollars. Others enter the five digit realm. You see, the world thinks that adoptive parents are rich. Why else would someone venture down that road unless our pockets were burdened with too much money. Did I also mention we had to mail the US Government money today to grant us permission to adopt? We sent the money and they could say "no" and the money is gone. Why do we do this? Why do we spend our retirement money (what is left), scrimp and save money from our paycheck? Because God put a burden on our hearts for these children. To outsiders and extended family we are insane. Did I mention we have to have a psychological evaluation - for a fee? Sometimes when I close my eyes, I see lists of fees needed for this adoption. Where is it going to come from? God.

In the last adoption on the 12th hour with three weeks before court, we realized we were $6,000 short. We never said a thing to anyone other than God. One week later, we received $6,000. Am I scarred? Yes. Will God provide? Yes. I know He is there and when I calm down, I take comfort in knowing so.

Please, keep us in your prayers...

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

How Warm and Snug Are You?

It's almost 11:30 and we just got the kids in bed after a small social with some other friends. I just checked the the weather in Siberia in the small village my three youngest were born. Tonight it will be -10 degrees Fahrenheit with a wind chill of -27 degrees Fahrenheit. Add to that 4 to 5 feet of snow. I think of all those children there and in the nearby large cities that are living on the streets with no where to go. No warm and snug bed to crawl into, no mama and papa to kiss them good night - just bitter cold and worn ragged clothes. The cold hearted would say, "...kids are resourceful - they'll find a way to keep warm." My answer - how resourceful were you at 5? How about 10?

Worst of all, many of them have never heard of a Heavenly Father that loves them - it is beyond their comprehension even if they have heard of Him. My heart aches for them...

Christmas 2009

We are almost through celebrating Christmas with one more family gathering tomorrow with my brother and sister! The kids have been good, but I am glad things are about to wind down. Wednesday night we joined some friends who had a live nativity and read the Christmas story aloud. It was great! They put notices in all their neighbor's mailboxes and asked all the children to play the characters. They even cutout a donkey from cardboard and fastened it onto a Red Ryder wagon. When it was time for Mary and Joseph to go to Bethlehem, Joseph just grabbed the handle of the wagon after Mary had climbed aboard. Wish I had taken my camera. They had a pretty good turnout! After the reading of the Christmas story, three of the families (us included) went caroling. We had a great time and look forward to doing it again next year.

As stated in the previous post earlier today, Dawn's ABI clearance came in the mail yesterday. That will finish the homestudy and push it to Alabama DHR for approval. If Alabama approves us, the documents go to US Immigration for approval. Either could say "no" or ask us to produce more documents.

For the past eight months, I ignorantly thought I would manage this adoption and take control of the situation. I really, really should know better. But, I am a sinner like everyone else. He has reminded me that I am in control of nothing - absolutely nothing. The very fact that I wake up in the morning is by the grace of God. Everything I have is His, He is just letting me borrow it. So Lord, I apologize for my arrogance.

Merry Christmas folks!

Brief Post

Well, Dawn got her Christmas present from the ABI on Christmas Eve- her long awaited clearance!

Prayer Requests

Tuesday I was moving some files (photos) from the old laptop and putting them on an external drive. To verify the files transferred properly, I viewed several of them. I was amazed at how much the kids, all of them, had grown. I was also saddened because I saw pictures of my oldest daughter smiling. She hasn't done that much lately. She has been sick since the first of September. Her problem is she can't keep food down. It is not immediate and ranges from 30 minutes to 4 hours or more. Her diet is mostly liquid and even that is difficult to manage. She has had 3-4 tests run by a gastro-interologist and everything comes back okay. While that is great, my baby is still sick. Sometimes water has been a problem. There was a time when I would have thought there was an eating disorder, but we are well past that. Even she is scared. So please, when you say your prayers, please add Christina to and ask our Father to please heal her.

Also, we are walking down the adoption road again. In fact, we signed with an agency back in early summer. Way back in January, I was having trouble sleeping. I knew the problem, I was just trying to ignore it. Ever said "No" to God? He doesn't like that a whole lot. So, I fessed up to Dawn one night and she told me had been getting the same message. So we started listening to God and about three months or so later, I felt like we were being led to adopt a special needs child. I didn't say anything to Dawn about it, and later we started getting some agency packets in the mail after I submitted some inquiries. One day, she grabbed a packet that had arrived in the mail and started reading info from ABC agency and she said, "Hey - did you see this brochure on special needs children." So, that is how it started and we are now in the process of getting clearance from the Alabama Bureau of Investigation. Jeremy and I received our clearance more than six weeks ago. She went to the ABI office on Tuesday to see about getting her fingerprints electronically scanned (the originals were the old ink and card). They advised her that her prints were rejected twice because they could not read them. They asked her if she washes dishes and she laughed. Even though we have a dishwasher, some things do get washed by hand. And then there is the other cleaning that is done using household cleansers. They advised her they were running her name to complete the clearance. Now this takes about thirty seconds, (I did this in college) but they told her she should receive her clearance in about six weeks! She asked if she could just have her prints scanned and the told her no, they were running her name instead. So, prayer number two, please pray we get our ABI clearance before Christmas. Our homestudy is finished and we are just waiting on that once clearance before the homestudy can be submitted to the State for approval (and then US Immigration/CIS).

It is Thanksgiving and I do have so much to be thankful for. So many people have lost their job due to the crappy economy and I still have mine. I have a wonderful wife (that I don't deserve) and six beautiful children that I love dearly. And.... across the great ocean is a special little boy under five that needs us. So please, pray for our family.

God Bless -

Tony B.

Out of the Mouths of Babes...

I was sitting here at the computer tonight and was on a popular adoption message board when I clicked on a video link about street children in Russia. As I was watching, Nastya walked up and started watching. Below is part of our conversation:

Nastya: Daddy, what is that little boy doing.
Daddy: He's sleeping baby (train station floor).

Nastya: Why doesn't he go home?
Daddy: He doesn't have a home baby.

New scene - 5 or 6 YO boy crying.
Nastya: Why is he crying daddy?
Daddy: Somebody just stole his clothes.

Nastya: He should go tell his momma.
Daddy: He doesn't have a momma.

Nastya: Daddy, we have to go get him and he can live with us. Daddy we have to go get him!
Daddy: Baby, I don't know where he is.
Nastya: But daddy...

Nastya then goes to get Dawn and makes me replay the video for them. She then told Dawn we have to go get those boys and girls that don't have a momma or a home.

My Nastya will be six next month, and she "gets it". She is wise beyond he years and I praise God that her memories of her early years are dim.

My greatest desire is that my children learn the love that Jesus Christ has for them and that they share that love with everyone around them. At six, Nastya is well on her way.

God Bless -

Growing Up & Stories

Things are bustling around here! God is walking with us on another journey and because He is so faithful, we trust Him to take care of us.

The kids are doing great including Jeremy in his first semester of college. Not only am I very proud of him, I am very proud of Dawn who has homeshooled the kids for the past nine years. There are many people that do not understand homeschooling parents just as there are people that do not understand adoption. Many just assumed Jeremy would just "graduate" and then nothing. When he started college, I think some were shocked that a homeschool kid would go to college. In September, he turned 19 and it was a big event to Dawn and I. Our baby boy was becoming an adult - officially. I am very proud of him and wish I were half the person he has become when I was 19.

A couple of nights recently, two of my three youngest have just started talking about their old life. I sat there and listened and deep inside I am hurting for them. I hugged my youngest son and reminded him that I am his papa now and he does not have worry about those things ever again. Later, his sister recalled some events and again I hurt for them. In both cases, I could only hug them, tell them I love them and that I'm sorry those things happened. I know they hurt and will carry that hurt with them probably for the rest of their life. I have to watch myself, because the hurt I feel for them sometimes turns to anger against their parents. I don't say anything, but deep inside I get mad and that is not good. Because Polina is older and understands a little more, about once per week at bedtime, we pray for her "starry mom" and that she will come to know Jesus and let Him heal her and I sincerely mean that. One night several months ago she asked me why we prayed for her. I explained that I would love to have the opportunity to see her in Heaven and thank her for giving birth to our children.

It's late, but I wanted to update everyone. I will try and post pictures from our month of birthdays in September (four birthdays). God Bless -