Sad News from Russia

A week ago last Thursday, I received a sad e-mail from Russia. Tatiana e-mailed me to let me know that the kid's birth mom, Elena, had passed away. This shook me a little more than I expected - I had never met the woman. There is a piece of me that is very angry with her, but there is a much larger piece that feels sorry for her. I do not know what home life for her was like as a little girl, but I do know what her life as an adult has been like in recent years. It was a tragic life that is unfortunately very common in that part of the world. I pray she knew The Lord Jesus Christ as her personal Saviour. I e-mailed Tatiana a note back to let her know how very sorry we were to hear the news and that I would tell the kids in a few days. I even asked her about Elana's salvation. I got an e-mail back from her, but she never addressed that point. I fear Elena died not knowing there was a Heavenly Father that loved her - how horrible.

I told Tatiana that Nastya and Dima do not remember Elena, but Polina has very clear memories of her and loved her. I knew Polina would want a picture and Tatiana promised to send one. I did not tell Polina until last Sunday night. She was heart broken and grabbed hold of Dawn and let her comfort her. I told the little ones on Monday morning. They cried a little.

I spoke with our church pastor about how to "honor" their birth mom's life. I was struggling because she did not lead a life style that I felt I could honor, but I knew I needed to recognize her passing for my children and the rest of the family. She gave birth to my three youngest children and for that I am eternally grateful. Pastor recommended a flower be placed up on the communion table in her memory for today (Mother's Day). I went a little further and asked if I could just get a large arrangement of flowers. He thought that would be fine. So, this past Monday morning, I took Polina to the florist and we purchased an arrangement in memory of Elena. They were there on the table up front this morning with a note in the bulletin that they were in memory of the kid's birth mom that passed away on April 22. I took a picture tonight (forgot my camera this morning) with the kids and the flowers so I could send it to Tatiana and show her how we remembered Elena today.

So, in memory of Elena ...

Home Study approved by State DHR

Well, we got great news from our social worker, our home study was approved by the Alabama DHR and was passed on to US Immigration (CIS)! We received copies of our home study in the mail on Saturday which allows us to apply for grants which we really need. Thanks for your prayers!

The matter in Tennessee has created a lot of questions. The Russian Ministry of Foreign Affairs has said adoptions by US citizens have been suspended. The Russian Ministry of Education which is in charge of adoptions has publicly stated they have not suspended adoptions. Our agency has families over there right now and they have not had any issues to develop. That said, I am sure that by the time we go to court, there will be some new requirements for us to complete. The anger many families in the adoption community have for this Tennessee woman is very high. But a friend pointed out to me on Thursday afternoon that no one person could do this much damage - it is spiritual warfare. He is exactly right. The devil does not want any of these children to have a home and he also knows that there is an almost certainty that these children will learn the love of The Heavenly Father.

Adoption News

The only real news is that the events involving the Tennessee woman have caused a LOT of problems for parents trying to adopt from Russia. News reports this morning from major media outlets claim that Russia has stopped all adoptions from the United States. That may or may not be true. It seems the official that made the comment may not have had the authority to make such a decision. It could be he was repeating was he was told or speculating. We probably will not have any concrete news for a couple of days.

We still don't have a home study. We were told it would be available this week, but it is Thursday and I have not heard anything from them yet. Also, our Immigration paperwork was returned again. This time they said they needed Jeremy's birth certificate. The documentation we have does not state that we were supposed to send it in. That info will go out in tomorrow's mail.

Pushed and Pulled - Or Jerked?

This past week has been a roller coaster of weather; 70 degree temperature, 40 degree temperature, sun and, rain - lots and lots of rain. Sounds like our life in a weird sort of way - being jerked this way and that. I guess "jerked" isn't the best word for it, but I don't know what other word to use. Our homestudy still has not made it to DHR. Without a homestudy, we can't apply for grants (which we need). Grants are often distributed in cycles and if you miss the cycle, you are out of luck. Last week our US Immigration paperwork got kicked back to us. We did not send the proper amount of funds, so they returned everything. That will have to go in the mail tomorrow with an extra check from the bank.

Our emotions are really being pulled in so many different ways on different levels. All I know is to ask God for wisdom.

Christina had some tests run at Children's Hospital with more scheduled. They ran a blood test (number 4 I think) with no answers for her problems. She had a very rough day today with a lot of pain. I can't stand to see my baby cry and not be able to help her. Please, pray for her. To the doctors, she is just a number. To Dawn and I, she is our precious daughter that is hurting.

Adoption Update

Well, we are STILL trying to get the homestudy "clean" and ready for the Russians. We thought all was done, but alas, in the adoption world, you are never through with paperwork until three years after your court order.

Last week we were told we had to complete the "Hague Training". With our last adoption, we completed at least 18 hours of training and in the back of my mind, I think it was more like 21 hours. The Hague Treaty and certification requires all adoptive parents to obtain a certificate of training - for a fee. The training is from a third party that will provide the all important certificate - for a fee.

Part of being an pre-adoptive parent is closing your eyes and writing out checks for these fees. Some are small and are only a couple of hundred dollars. Others enter the five digit realm. You see, the world thinks that adoptive parents are rich. Why else would someone venture down that road unless our pockets were burdened with too much money. Did I also mention we had to mail the US Government money today to grant us permission to adopt? We sent the money and they could say "no" and the money is gone. Why do we do this? Why do we spend our retirement money (what is left), scrimp and save money from our paycheck? Because God put a burden on our hearts for these children. To outsiders and extended family we are insane. Did I mention we have to have a psychological evaluation - for a fee? Sometimes when I close my eyes, I see lists of fees needed for this adoption. Where is it going to come from? God.

In the last adoption on the 12th hour with three weeks before court, we realized we were $6,000 short. We never said a thing to anyone other than God. One week later, we received $6,000. Am I scarred? Yes. Will God provide? Yes. I know He is there and when I calm down, I take comfort in knowing so.

Please, keep us in your prayers...

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

How Warm and Snug Are You?

It's almost 11:30 and we just got the kids in bed after a small social with some other friends. I just checked the the weather in Siberia in the small village my three youngest were born. Tonight it will be -10 degrees Fahrenheit with a wind chill of -27 degrees Fahrenheit. Add to that 4 to 5 feet of snow. I think of all those children there and in the nearby large cities that are living on the streets with no where to go. No warm and snug bed to crawl into, no mama and papa to kiss them good night - just bitter cold and worn ragged clothes. The cold hearted would say, "...kids are resourceful - they'll find a way to keep warm." My answer - how resourceful were you at 5? How about 10?

Worst of all, many of them have never heard of a Heavenly Father that loves them - it is beyond their comprehension even if they have heard of Him. My heart aches for them...

Christmas 2009

We are almost through celebrating Christmas with one more family gathering tomorrow with my brother and sister! The kids have been good, but I am glad things are about to wind down. Wednesday night we joined some friends who had a live nativity and read the Christmas story aloud. It was great! They put notices in all their neighbor's mailboxes and asked all the children to play the characters. They even cutout a donkey from cardboard and fastened it onto a Red Ryder wagon. When it was time for Mary and Joseph to go to Bethlehem, Joseph just grabbed the handle of the wagon after Mary had climbed aboard. Wish I had taken my camera. They had a pretty good turnout! After the reading of the Christmas story, three of the families (us included) went caroling. We had a great time and look forward to doing it again next year.

As stated in the previous post earlier today, Dawn's ABI clearance came in the mail yesterday. That will finish the homestudy and push it to Alabama DHR for approval. If Alabama approves us, the documents go to US Immigration for approval. Either could say "no" or ask us to produce more documents.

For the past eight months, I ignorantly thought I would manage this adoption and take control of the situation. I really, really should know better. But, I am a sinner like everyone else. He has reminded me that I am in control of nothing - absolutely nothing. The very fact that I wake up in the morning is by the grace of God. Everything I have is His, He is just letting me borrow it. So Lord, I apologize for my arrogance.

Merry Christmas folks!